For Parents Doing It Alone, Every Small Victory Is a Big One

Approximately 30% of households with children living in them in the United States are single-parent families. In situations where a child is being raised primarily by one person, everything becomes more than twice as hard.

Every appointment, every school drop-off, every school pick-up, every sports game, club, and day of shopping for new clothes falls on your shoulders.

Not only is that a significant responsibility, but it’s also not an ideal system. If you get sick, if you get called into work, if your child needs a level of help and support that you can’t provide, there’s no redundancy — no backup of any kind.

So, for parents doing it by themselves, every small victory is a big one. In this article, we take a look at ways to help navigate single parenthood and thrive.

An Overview of American Family Life in the 21st Century

We mentioned in the introduction that approximately 30% of American families are single-parent households.

That’s true, but it’s not the only factor that produces struggle. More than 60% of married couples are both employed. This can make it very difficult, even for married couples, to navigate family life.

Before your child reaches school age, you become responsible for securing reliable, cost-effective care.

Daycare services cost $50 or more a day in most parts of the country — that’s assuming you live in a region that has availability to begin with. Many families find themselves in childcare deserts.

Childcare deserts:

Lack of affordable daycare options
May have long waiting lists
The few daycare centers that do exist are often geographically isolated, making them difficult to get to

The very best-case scenario that many families can hope for? A childcare provider that doesn’t completely consume your salary and is located conveniently enough so that you can get your child home before seven.

That’s a small win by almost any standard, and one that many people aren’t even reliably receiving. When times get hard, small wins are sometimes all that can be counted on to help see you through.

In the next few headings, we’ll take a look at navigating the hectic early years of parenting alone and how you can rack up small but impactful wins.

Develop a Support System

If the stats we’ve described in the earlier headings teach anything, it should at least be that there are lots of people in your position.

Many single parents or even married couples who are struggling, either financially or simply by achieving reliable child care, will benefit enormously from a support system.

This could involve carpooling, it could involve rotating child care among other parents in your community who are in a similar position, or taking turns on your days off to help with other people’s kids.

There’s still an element of struggle, of course, particularly given that this particular recommendation requires you to actively accumulate additional responsibilities.

However, having someone you know and trust well enough to watch your child for a few hours here and there will have an enormous impact on your life.

It does require developing relationships, getting to know other parents in your community. It’s an investment of time and effort, but one that will pay off directly in the form of enhanced support, and possibly even indirectly in the form of a new friend.

Find Ways to be an Active Participant

One of the frustrating things for single or working parents is that they aren’t able to participate in aspects of their children’s lives to the extent that they would like to.

When teachers send out flyers asking for volunteers in the classroom or chaperones for a field trip, you’re often the one unable to do it.

First of all, it’s important to understand that you’re not alone in this. While you might take note only of the Type A PTO moms and dads, there are so many other parents in the exact same position that you are in.

Regardless, there are still always going to be ways that you can participate, whether that means donating snacks to the classroom or helping the room parent play games during classroom parties.

There will inevitably be many ways that you can contribute from afar. One of the most straightforward: simply ask the teacher, “Hey, I work during the day, but I want to help. What can I do?” There’s a good chance the teacher will have recommendations.

Make Your Moments

Just because you’re busy and overwhelmed doesn’t mean that you can’t still find moments of connection and joy with your child.

Sometimes you’ll need to rethink what experiences can be used for memory-making and connection. For example, you have to make dinner, right?

Involve your child in the process. Do you have a cell phone? That’s a rhetorical question. You’re probably holding it in your hands right now.

Take a look at your usage habits. Can you carve thirty minutes of the time you spend on social media out for reading a book to your child instead?

Small choices can have a big impact, especially when they are repeated day after day, year after year.

It’s hard for parents everywhere, regardless of their circumstances. But with planning, commitment, and a little bit of grit, you can see your way through.

Photo Credit

Image by Dana from Pixabay

Guest Author Bio
Sarah Daren

With a Bachelor’s in Health Science along with an MBA, Sarah Daren has a wealth of knowledge within both the health and business sectors. Her expertise in scaling and identifying ways tech can improve the lives of others has led Sarah to be a consultant for a number of startup businesses, most prominently in the wellness industry, wearable technology and health education. She implements her health knowledge into every aspect of her life with a focus on making America a healthier and safer place for future generations to come.